Moline Police use clever wordplay to ask for help in finding ‘roll Tide’ thief

Local News

With clever wordplay in a Facebook post, Moline Police ask the public’s help to find a man who took Tide from a Hy-Vee store.

“I will never forget the first time I saw you, actually I heard you before I saw you,” the post says. “You were exiting the doors at Hy-Vee and I heard you yell, ‘Roll Tide.'”

The message, posted Monday, includes screen shots from surveillance video.

“I ran over to you as I wanted to remind you that this is Coach Bielema country and the only Tide that is going to be rolling is the Fighting Illini rolling over Alabama in the National Championship game next year,” the post continues. “But as I laid my eyes upon you, I realized you were not an SEC football fan, as you were quite literally rolling Tide, unpaid-for Tide at that, straight out the doors to your white Ford F-150.”

“So as I sat back and watched you do your Retail Theft Tango, I wondered what prompted this man to steal this much laundry detergent and food. Did his wife wake him from an afternoon slumber, demanding he go get laundry detergent and dog food from the store right now and he made sure he wouldn’t have to make this trip again in 2021? Or perhaps, he was a street launderer and was going to be selling his stolen goods?”

“Whatever the reason, I want to meet this man and hook him up with free laundry service provided by the Rock Island County Jail,” the post says.

Moline Police ask anyone who knows the suspect to call Crime Stoppers of the Quad Cities at 309-762-9500 or call police at 309-524-2140.

“Don’t eat the Tide Pods and Go Illini,” the post concludes.

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